Hazy days

This protocol is feeling like both my pregnancies.... When I was pregnant with both of my girls I felt really nauseous in the first trimester, the middle was better and it came roaring back in the last trimester. 

I felt awful the first several rounds post chemo. Then the fevers subsided and I seemed to bounce back faster but the last couple of rounds have kicked my butt. In the days post chemo, I lay down for a short rest because my headaches and I feel more nauseous when I move around and I wake up 3-4 hours later. I was lamenting this the other day and Katt said, "mom, the only person that is surprised by this is you."

I thought it would get easier the further I got into treatment and it did for a bit and now it is definitely not easier. So much so I am debating whether I really need to do 4 more doses. I got my bone marrow biopsy (bmb) results back and they were great. There was no evidence of hairy cells, or any abnormal B cells. There was a small group of abnormal T cells but the local pathology report said there were not enough for additional analysis. NIH is doing their thing now so will see what they say. This is the third bmb in a row that has shown abnormal T cells and right now we are just watching them. 

The bmb was after 6 treatments and I have had 8. When they originally wrote the protocol for this trial it just had 8 doses. When I looked online at the trial outline when I started treatment it still said 4 cycles / 8 doses, but NIH said before it began they changed to 6 cycles / 12 doses. It is hard to continue to make myself sick when the test results come back with no evidence of cancer. I know that is just a sample and it is good to do a full sweep and make sure they track down the any remaining cancer but I am going to take it dose by dose. 

It does not help that they last time around I had to be stuck twice to do my blood work. Then my IV was started with no problem but halfway through the chemo (I am at the cancer center literally for 9 hours on chemo days), my vein gave out. How did we know? It felt like the IV was suddenly stabbing me sharply and repeatedly. The nurse pulled it and had to restart another one on my other arm. So my veins, like the rest of me, are feeling done with this.

So just 7 weeks until my last treatment and I am finished with chemo (for now) but it cannot go by quickly enough for me.

Back to School (Again)

 Even though this has been a very atypical summer it has flown by and I cannot believe school starts a week from Monday. It was suppose to start next Wednesday on a hybrid schedule but, like a lot of places, it has pushed back the start date a few days and this summer is going to be all virtual. I'm glad about it because my lymphocytes (which fight viruses) are non-existent so my protection against any viruses comes from my anti-viral meds. This year in particular don't need my children bringing anything home!

I have gotten so use to having everyone around our dog and I are going to have major withdrawal when everyone goes back to school and work - our dog can be good company but she is a horrible conversationalist. Katt is a senior in high school this year and mentioned to her the other day how much I was going to miss her next year and she smiled and said, "oh momma, I could be going to college from our third floor next year virtually, don't be sad yet..." I want her to have the experience of living with friends and going to college but I'm not anxious for that day to come.

Monday is treatment number 8 (and will just have 4 more left). It was really nice not to have to go to the doctor today this week for labs. Hopefully I will get the results of my bone marrow biopsy Monday and they will be good news - fingers crosed!