Sunday, March 19, 2017

Take silence as things are going well

I have had a few friends email, or text, to see how things and mention I had not posted in awhile and it has been longer than I even thought it was. I continue to stay busy packing in as much living as I can. I do think when I am feeling good it is hard to make myself post. It really reminds me that I have leukemia which most days is sublimated below the rest of what is going on in my life.

While I am totally comfortable talking about having cancer, I do sometimes wonder if I have totally accepted it. I just looked up acceptance and it means you consent to receive something, I have never consented to have cancer. I understand the reality of my situation, but I don't like it, and it is most certainly not something I wanted. When I talk to friends who are newly diagnosed and struggling with the news, I know I am reconciled to the facts about having leukemia and what it means for my life and my families. Maybe that is as much as you can hope for....

I don't go back to NIH until the end of May for a couple days for lots of testing. In a weird way, I am looking forward to going to NIH. This is a long stretch for me without data. I am starting to second guess being tired and wondering if it is more than the impact of full days, and the measly one hour daylight savings change which threw my whole family off last week.

The last 4 months have been full of the girls activities, work, and lots of family travel. I used the time I had in a hospital bed last summer, and packed our schedule for every school holiday. It is the last year the girls are in the same school, and with Katt going into high school we know she can't miss school, or sports practices on the weekends. It hit a new travel crazy high for us a few weeks ago when Chad and Margaret were coming back from a father-daughter weekend and they came off the plane that I was getting on to head out of town. We had time for quick hugs and kisses, and a hand off of keys. We are looking forward to heading to the Grand Canyon and other national parks later this spring and hopefully in May I will get the news everything is still looking good and we can squeeze in some trips this summer before high school kicks off and then we know college visits will not be too far behind.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Beth,

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    Anuj

    ReplyDelete