Thursday, June 23, 2016

My Secret Internet Life

The title is more exciting than this post. If you have read this blog you know all about my secret internet life, I have nothing close to the double life that Edie Falco does as Nurse Jackie. It is my children that don’t know about it (as far as I know!).

Ever since I was first diagnosed, we have tried to be very truthful, and matter of fact, with the girls about what was going on with me. At first, they were young enough that it was as simple as I needed special medicine I could only get in the hospital, and would be home after to rest and then would get better --- and I did.

They know the deal, with what is going on now. I am sure they know my good days from my bad days by how I sound on the phone (and if I am up for face timing, or not). They don’t know all the gory details though, and they don’t know about this blog.

At ages 11 and 13, I am pretty sure they would be horrified to know that I write about how I am doing on a totally public blog, and even more so that I write about them!! Of course, I think as a mom of a teenager embarrassing them comes with the job, doesn’t it?

I have been thinking a lot lately about when I let them know. I don’t think we are quite there yet, but I don’t want them to stumble across it accidentally surfing online. Katt and Margaret, if you happen upon this blog I have always thought of it as a two-fer – 1) a great way to keep family and friends up to speed on how things are going, and 2) a bit of a journal of family stories along the way since I stink at scrapbooks, hand written journals, and anything similar.

I am feeling pretty good, just tired, and the left side of my face is sore. After many discussions, and doctor’s appointments, shingles has been ruled out. The current diagnosis is tendonitis in my face and TMJ (i.e., joint on my left jaw is popping in/out from the swelling). The recommended treatment is ice, no hard foods or gum, don’t sleep on that side of my face, and keep on leveraging Tylenol. If it gets worse, or does not improve, then a visit to a (another) specialist is in my future.

My labs yesterday were so good they even got me a bit excited. Only my lymphocytes (in white blood cells that fight viruses) were still low. Otherwise my CBC looks like a healthy person J.

I feel like I am settling into a routine of this cancer treatment thing… nice to be back in the office today which feels like my official return to normalcy. Looking forward to a good week and a half before I head back to NIH on July 5. Looking forward to getting round 3 behind me and being halfway done!!


  1. Beth - Continuing to send you positive thoughts! Also, if you're considering what you'll do in your Second Act....after the girls are away at college...I'd like to suggest you continue to leverage your gift of writing which is obviously just another of your many talents! Stay strong.

  2. Agree completely about how well you write! I love reading your blog, but so very much wish you didn't have to do all this medical treatment that comes with such hard days. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us.

  3. I remember us joking years ago about how you could have been a young mom to me so trust me when I tell you this - if and when Katt and Margaret stumble across your blog for the first time, I think they will be so amazed at your strength and story-telling abilities, they won't even think to be upset with you for writing about your story or mentioning them. I also believe they will be grateful to have your journals and read about how this journey has impacted you. You are a proud momma and I enjoy reading your stories about the girls. Praying for healing for you!

    Tiffany H.