Saturday, June 28, 2014

Cancer as a Gift

I read an article not long ago that talked about "cancer as a gift". As I read this is what went through my head....
1) Cancer is the WORST gift EVER.
2) I would NEVER give cancer to ANYONE.
3) If it is a gift, can I return it, or at least exchange it for a common cold or even strep?

The article was about how finding out you have cancer reminds you of your mortality and makes you tell the people you care about that you love and you take advantage of opportunities because you know you won't live forever. While true, I would not call cancer a gift...Can you find silver linings? yes...Can you make the best of the situation? yes.... Is it a gift? Hell, no (I am working on learning to mediate but still think once (if) I learn to do it even with a new found zen-ness I will not change this answer!)

I am still feeling better than expected. Mornings are usually pretty good then by early afternoon the slide begins. It is mostly fatigue, weakness and nausea I am battling. I am hoping in the next couple weeks they start to step down my cornucopia of pharmaceutical drugs I have to ingest daily which I think will help rid me of the nausea (versus having me add to the mix!).

My counts yesterday were all down and below normal, but well above where I started chemo so not bad at all for me. Monday will be interesting to see which way they go. If they are up I will be doing a happy dance and will have officially turned a major corner. If they are down on the same trajectory that is fine ... still will be well above transfusion thresholds and will just give it some more time. So am laying low, avoiding germs and hopefully getting better quickly!!


  1. Thanks for the update! Glad you are doing okay and we are thinking about you. If you see Katie at the hospital, please give her our regards (you don't have to tell her we hope it will be the last time you see her there :))


  2. Hang in there - wounds like things are better this time around! Lots of prayers and good karma coming your way!

  3. Luke here Beth: I couldn't really agree with you more. Having a very positive attitude and working hard at exercise (which you do) is one thing. Looking at a potentially fatal disease as a "gift" is just a ridiculous exercise in trying to be a Pollyana! Hope your counts are good!