Sunday, November 4, 2012

Patience

I walk fast. I talk fast. I am decisive with a bias to action. I am many things but patient does not top my list of virtues. My counts are in this morning and my white blood cell count is just 0.3 again...sigh.... so that means likely more of the next week than not in the hospital. My body is indifferent to where I sleep because that is all it wants to do. My mind is screaming at my body to get with the program and ramp up that bone marrow production of healthy cells so we can get the heck out of here. 

I am feeling like it is a bit ironic that what the doctors are telling me that I need to do as a patient in this hospital  to get well is be patient and give my body time to replace the cancer cells with good cells. Today I am mentally resigned to being here another week plus, and I know in the grand scheme of things a bit more time in the hospital is worth it if it means full remission in the end. After three weeks in the hospital it has really become my new normal. I am having trouble remembering what it feels like to sleep in my own bed, or what the air outside will feel like when I leave the hospital (or my room for that matter). The weather has changed since I arrived so I know it is colder outside, and am sure our house is still drafty that that did not get magically fixed while we were in China. Chad and the girls will be in their groove too, just like the girls and I were this summer while Chad was still in China. We have proven we are an adaptable family so we will adjust but I know I need to be patient to get out of here then at home we will all have to be patient as well as we settle into the new routine of having me home.

Chad and the girls get back from Vegas today. They had a great time seeing the city, Hoover Dam, America's Got Talent and grandparents (O'momma and O'poppa). Their trip also included a stop at the world's largest gift shop where I hear Margaret acquired a whoopee cushion (thanks, O'poppa). Sounds like seeing the best of this season's America's Got Talent live was a total highlight of the trip. The girls thought all the acts were better live. They also had a street sighting of Turf and saw him perform. Watch for good photos on facebook from Chad.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for patience and for my bone marrow to start working....Time for a nap.

11 comments:

  1. Dear Beth,
    Reading your story made me feel like I am there with you. I am a universal donor and will check in with Red Cross as soon as I get back to Charleston. Love and prayers.

    Helen

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  2. Hi Beth, Thinking of you today. There's a famous quote about the most powerful ammunition being patience and time.... both of these are on your side. Hang in there! All the best, M.

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  3. Okay, Bethy, have an appointment at Hoxworth on Wednesday evening. I promise to think lots of positive thoughts while I am donating, so that my blood will be filled with love and light for you, so happy that we share a blood type. It feels great to be able to do something for you.
    It was wonderful to see you today. Will touch base with you again next weekend.
    Love,
    Krista

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  4. Thinking of you....I was out of town so I just caught up on your weekend posts. Love the roller coaster story because I can only imagine that's how you feel. Praying for a miraculous turn around overnight. Stay positive.

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  5. Beth,
    Your writing is such a gift to all who care about you and are thinking of you.
    Sending love and prayers,
    Kathryn Horn Coneway and family

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  6. If I had any patience, I'd gladly lend you some. In our thoughts and prayers,

    Chad

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  7. Sending many positive thoughts and prayers your way. Hang in there and fight hard!

    - Molly Shields

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  8. Beth - Thinking of you often and keeping you in my prayers. While you do not see yourself as patient...I absolutely have seen you demonstrate patience beautifully. Stay positive and know we are all routing for you!
    Love,
    Nancy Bernardini

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  9. Beth - I'm thinking about you all the time and praying you get to go home very very soon. Stay strong and know we're all confident you've got this!

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  10. Safety Girl.

    Hello There. I love your posts, you have a gift for writing, Forget the spell checker, it's the wonderful stories that make the difference. I love the roller coaster story. Mari and I have you, Chad, and the girls in our thoughts. We hope that all four of them get to play together someday soon. We miss you guys tons. A big hug to you and your beautiful family. German and Mari.

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  11. Hi Beth! This is Lauren O'Neill from Brooklyn again. I have been checking up on you and thinking of you a lot. I am also blood type A+...I wish I could send you some blood from NY. Instead I will donate some locally. I know that this is the beginning of an upswing for you and that things will get better from here. Sending lots of love your way. Lauren

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